


What he did

by makejimhappy



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Agents of SHIELD, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Fitzdaisy angst, Framework, Marvel - Freeform, fitzdaisy, fitzsimmons angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-07-09 21:05:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19894342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makejimhappy/pseuds/makejimhappy
Summary: One evening, in the middle of the hustle of finding Izel, Fitz finally learns about what his other self did to Daisy.





	1. Chapter 1

Fitz breathed inwards looking at everything surrounding him. Papers were strewn across the desks with about ten different computers hosting tables and images and...he was overwhelmed. He needed to sleep.

Grudgingly he made he’s way out of the central headquarters. Technically, he and Jemma hadn’t been given their own quarters since they had come back. Everything had been so hectic and busy that it hadn’t crossed anyone’s mind to give them a bed. However, he found the guest quarters almost empty with only Daisy sleeping in a lower bunk, fully clothed and with no blanket. She must’ve been so exhausted that she just collapsed. Fitz smiled. He had missed her so much. As quietly as possible he took a blanket from a pile in the corner and slowly put it over her. He remembered the nights where they had slept in next door bunks on the Bus and how in the middle of the night he, Daisy and Jemma would creep out of their bunks and raid the cupboards for food. Then, they would all squish in to Fitz’s bunk, turn on the TV and watch Doctor Who. Daisy couldn’t understand it at first. Jemma and Fitz were off course experts but in a few months they were all obsessed. He remembered Daisy screaming at the weeping angels and them all in fits of giggles and the popcorn that ended up strewn all over Fitz’s bunk and the panic in realising that they had woken May up.

Fitz smiled to himself. Maybe when this was all over they could do that all again. It had been so long.

He laid down on the bunk on the opposite side of the room, tucking in to his blanket. This was when he was most vulnerable. Alone, in the dark with him. He clenched his eyes shut and rolled over on his side thinking hard about those days on the Bus and the happiness he had felt. Thankfully no voice came.

*

Fitz woke up to screaming. Not the fun screams that he remembered from the Bus but hoarse, guttural, painful screams. He sat up. Daisy.

Sure enough on the other side of the room, Fitz could see through the dim lighting that Daisy was writhing in her blanket and screaming- yet her eyes were still closed. She was moving so much that the bed was rocking. Fitz could feel the pain ebbing from her...the fear. Panic rose up within Fitz. He needed to help her, up but he didn’t want to panic her even more. Fitz was trembling. He wanted to wake up her up, he couldn’t see her like this. Slowly, he crept over to Daisy and shook her shaking shoulder. Her eyes snapped open and immediately she stretched out her arm ready to protect herself. Fitz jumped back in shock but it was too late. Next thing he knew he was on the floor. His ears rung from the force of the quake and he had hit his head...badly.  
“Oh my god Fitz” Daisy backed up against the wall, wrapping her arms around herself.  
She was evidently distressed. Tears streamed down her cheeks, her forehead shone with sweat and she was breathing heavily as shrunk in to herself.  
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to” She shook her head violently, keeping her arms close to her.  
“It’s-it’s okay” Fitz said softly. He didn’t blame her at all. If he was her he would’ve done the same thing.  
He stood up awkwardly and then sat on the edge of the bed.   
“Was it a nightmare?”   
It was a stupid question. Fitz had nightmares just as bad as this. What else could it be? Daisy nodded.  
“Do you...do you want to speak about it?”  
And at that Daisy’s expression changed. Her eyes widened in realisation and she started shaking even more.  
“Daisy?”  
“Please, just stay back.” She muttered   
“Oh, sure okay” Fitz perched so far on the end of the bed that he was almost falling off. He frowned in concern “Do you want water or anything?”  
“I just want a break” Daisy breathed out “I want Sarge to disappear. I want Izel to leave us alone. I want Davis back. I...I want Coulson back.”  
She lowered her head sobbing in to her knees. Fitz wanted to comfort her but she asked him to stay back. He needed to respect that.  
“I want everyone back.” Daisy continued, her voice heavy and full of tears “I want Lincoln back. I want Tripp... I want Mack to take a rest. I wish things were like how they used to be. I wish I could look at you the same way-“  
She froze. Fitz felt his left hand twitching. He stuffed it under a pillow. The framework. She still felt the effects and despite the speech she had made she still saw him as...him.  
“She’s disgusted by us” a quiet but assertive voice echoed around Fitz’s head “inhuman scum”  
Fitz ignored him. He’d heard that before.   
“I still can’t look at myself the same way either.” He admitted “Ever since the framework-“  
“I’m not talking about the framework.” Daisy said quickly, almost blurting it out.  
Regret passed over her face.  
“I shouldn’t have said that.”  
“What?”   
What did Daisy mean? What had happened? Fitz thought about the way Daisy was curling up within herself, how her eyes were full of fear despite him being there to help her, how she had quaked him, how she had asked for him to move away...  
“W-what did I do?” He felt his voice start to tremble.   
Daisy shook her head, her eyes wide and shining with tears.   
“She’s afraid of us.” The Doctor whispered   
“Shut up”   
“Can you hear him?” Daisy asked   
Fitz nodded simply.  
“Daisy what did I do?” He repeated  
His left hand wouldn’t stop twitching. He had done something. He had hurt her. No wonder she couldn’t even look at him in the eye. He felt a strong pull to comfort her and help her but he didn’t want to hurt her. He couldn’t comfort her when she looked at him like that...  
“It’s more him.” Daisy whispered “It’s more what he did. To me.”  
“I bet she got what she deserved.”  
“Fitz...” It was evident she was struggling to get the words out, too articulate what to say “He took control.”  
“You had a pretty bad psychic split when you go back” now Jemma’s voice echoed around his head...her words from the mind prison.  
Panic rose and rose inside him. He was dangerous. What had he done to make Daisy scream as much as she had done in that dream? What was he capable of?   
“We thought it was the fear dimension.” Daisy continued “But you were so so so tired. You hadn’t slept for days, you needed to eat. I could tell that something was wrong...”

The door flew open. Jemma ran in. Her brown hair swung behind her wildly. She wore a creased shirt and pyjama bottoms and her cheeks were red. She had been running.  
“I heard screaming.”  
“It’s fine...Jemma really it’s fine I just had a nightmare.” Daisy tried to smile it came out as more of a grimace.  
“Just? Daisy let me get you a cup of tea and I’ll-“  
She saw Fitz.  
“Jemma?” Fitz’s voice wobbled, his eyes swimming with tears. He could barely make out her face now. “Jemma I-“  
The precarious corner of the bed which we was perching on finally wasn’t enough. He fell hard on to the floor, the impact causing his teeth to shatter together. Pain soared through him but he wasn’t sure how much of it was because of the fall. The tears that had been formed within his eyes streamed out now.  
“Stop crying you pathetic man”  
He couldn’t help himself.  
“For once in a while will you just SHUT UP” he yelled.  
In the corner of his vision, Daisy twitched. Jemma’s eyebrows furrowed in concern.  
“Fitz?”  
“Please just get Daisy out of here.” He blurted out “I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t want to-“  
He sounded so rude. He didn’t mean for it to come out that rude.

He sat staring at the wall as Jemma helped Daisy off the bunk and led her out of the room. Daisy’s words consumed him. The Doctor had taken over. He had hurt Daisy. He was the cause of her nightmares. He had done this to her.  
“Sounds like we did a good job. Maybe you have learnt something from me after all.”  
Fitz drew is knees up closer to himself and clasped his hands to his ears.  
“Shut up shut up shut up shut up.”

“Fitz?”  
His head snapped up. Jemma stood at the doorway.  
“Did I hurt you as well?” He needed to know.  
Jemma shook her head “Mack got shot but-“  
“I shot Mack?”   
“It wasn’t you Fitz.”   
“That’s hard to believe,” he scoffed.  
Jemma sat down on the bed. She looked exhausted. There were huge circles under her eyes. Her hair was crumpled and she was nervously ringing her hands together.  
“Is Daisy okay?”  
“I gave her some tea and she’s asleep again,” Jemma replied. “She’s fine. Join me and i’ll tell you about what happened...that’s if you want to know.”  
Fitz struggled up to stand and then collapsed down next to Jemma. They leaned against the wall of the cot together, their hands instinctively intertwining together like they always did.  
“We thought it was the fear dimension at first,” Jemma began softly. “It wasn’t. You were exhausted and stressed. I think when one of the manifestations tried to kill me it all got too much. He took control of you. He knocked out Deke. You kept... switching. One minute you were you and you were claiming you could see him. The next you had...” She breathed in heavily. “The next he had taken Daisy...against her will. I realised it too late. That you were seeing him and it wasn’t the fear dimension and that he had taken over. I found you standing in that room with...”   
It was too much. Jemma uttered a loud sob. Fitz instinctively put his arm around her and she sobbed in to him instead. He was holding everything in. He felt fear...of himself and pain and remorse and sympathy and anger but he had to hold it in. He felt like screaming, like punching something, like doing something to himself. He deserved the pain he deserved the punishment. He needed to hold it in for as long as possible because he shouldn’t have to be burden. He deserved these feelings and he didn’t deserve any help or any sympathy. This was his fault. Daisy’s nightmares, Jemma crying in to his shirt. His fault.   
“You were holding a scalpel,” Jemma said finally, her voice muffled. “And you had no idea where you were and what you were doing and you were so confused. Then, you realised. Daisy had a little inhibitor in her neck. You needed her powers back in order to close the fear dimension otherwise it would blow up the base and the whole town above it. The Doctor had planned it so that you had no choice but to take the inhibitor out and...you did. It worked and Daisy closed the dimension. You gave yourself up that night. You let yourself be locked up.”  
It’s what he deserved but it wasn’t enough.  
“You didn’t deserve it!” The Doctor snarled indignantly in to his ear “You saved everyone because of what you did. You well know that sometimes the needs of the few need to be sacrificed for the needs of the many.”  
“Daisy is my FRIEND” Fitz retorted, realising too late that he was talking out loud “Off course I deserve it. I betrayed her.”  
“Fitz,” Jemma sat up and rested her hand against his arm. “Once this is all over. We’re going to get you some help. Okay?”  
Fitz could feel the tears forming in his eyes again. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream and hold on to Jemma and never let go. He wanted to rest. He wanted everything to be okay, for Coulson to be back, for everything to be like how it used to be. But he didn’t deserve it. So he blinked the tears away and looked straight in to Jemma’s eyes.  
“I don’t deserve any help,” he said simply.  
Jemma sighed, wiped her tears away and sat straight up.   
“You deserve all the help you can get,” she said firmly. “You deserve to get better. You deserve a happy life. You deserve to rest. You deserve to be healthy. I love you and nothing will ever change that.”  
“Jemma...” Fitz’s voice softened “Jemma but I’m too dangerous to even be around you. How could you even trust me?”  
“Because I know you,” Jemma smiled softly. “I know who you really are. You are the kindest, most selfless man I know.”  
“She’s describing a coward. She’s describing weaknesses. Are you a coward? Are you going to play in to her tricks? Listen to me. Are you really going to become any weaker than you already are? I know you want to cry. Look at you huddled up like a child. Grow up and be a man. That’s what dad would say.”  
Fitz looked up at Jemma. The tears had escaped from his eyes.   
“I’m sorry for crying,” he muttered. “He just won’t shut up.”  
“Coward.”  
“I’m going to talk to Daisy tomorrow.” Fitz decided “I’m not expecting her to forgive me...I don’t deserve that anyway. She deserves to say what she wants to say to me.”  
“That’s a good start,” Jemma smiled. “We should probably sleep.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy and Fitz talk the next day.

He was in an empty room. Then...he fell. He didn’t know where to or how but he just fell and fell through suffocating darkness.   
“Fitz.”  
He snapped his head back. The falling had stopped. It was the empty room again but this time Jemma sat in the corner. She didn’t look right. Her face was contorting with rage and fear as tears streamed down her cheeks. Around Fitz her voice echoed “Fitz. Fitz.”  
“What did you do?” she cried, her face now full of shock with wide eyes.

Screams. Daisy’s screams. 

He was falling again. This time however Daisy’s screams pierced in to his ears, entering every small crevice and corner of his mind until all he was was her screams. And he was screaming as well.

He woke up.

*

“Hi”  
Fitz stood in the doorway of the kitchen. He looked awkward in his creased button up shirt and with his timid posture. Daisy instantly noticed that his eyes were red and that his left hand was twitching.  
“Hi,” she smiled. “How are you doing?”  
Fitz shrugged. He stayed at the doorway, his eyes nervously darting around.   
“You know you’re very welcome to sit.”  
“Oh, okay thanks,” he breathed out in relief and sped walked so fast to the counter that he knocked off a glass of orange juice on the edge. “Oh god!”  
He looked up at Daisy. She had found his clumsiness amusing but there were tears forming in his eyes.  
“I’m so sorry,” he gasped. “Let me clear it up.”  
“Breathe Fitz,” Daisy took a napkin from the middle of the table and passed it across to him. “It’s not the end of the world.”  
Fitz smiled a shy smile and quickly mopped up the mess he’d made.  
“You seem happy,” he said quietly.  
“Just has a good sleep that’s all,” Daisy shrugged. “I mean after I woke up and quaked you against a wall. Sorry for that by the way.”  
She did feel happy but she deliberately darted her eyes away from his. Whenever she saw them she thought of the identical piercing blue eyes of the doctor, looking down at her as she lay their helpless...but he looked so much like Fitz- he had worn Fitz’s clothes. She shivered. Fitz didn’t seem to notice. He sat carefully opposite her and blew his nose quickly on another napkin.   
“Apologies,” his smile was lopsided and clumsy. “I’m exhausted. Didn’t sleep well at all.”  
“What about Jemma?” Daisy was trying to make conversation.  
He smiled even more, his eyes suddenly bright.  
“She’s still fast asleep,” he said.   
Daisy noticed that- how his face would instantly light up at the mention of Jemma. She had noticed it since they had first met. At least one thing hadn’t changed.

She needed to talk to him though. There was no avoiding the fact that there was a lot to address.  
“How are you feeling?” she asked “after...last night.”  
Tears formed in his eyes again. Damn that happened quickly:  
“I don’t know,” he twisted his hands in front of him. “I’m so sorry Daisy. If you think I should be locked up again I won’t protest.”  
“It wasn’t you Fitz.”  
She felt like she and Jemma ever since the framework had been on a broken record. ‘It wasn’t you fitz.’ ‘That’s not you’ ‘don’t blame yourself’ ‘I know who you really are’ ‘Fitz calm down’ ‘You need to sleep’ ‘Have something to eat’.   
She sighed.  
“Obviously my words aren’t going to help,” she said. “And I’m going to be honest. I can’t look you in the eye. It’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself. When...when you died I was distraught but I feel bad in saying I was relieved. The Doctor died the same day. I feel awful for that. I’m so...split. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive him but I can forgive you. You wear his face but you’re not him. You’re another version. We still have time to help you. You can talk to us and we can work through this. Not because he’s dangerous but because you deserve to be helped. You deserve to be happy. You’re no where near the state your other version was. We need to help you take care of yourself. Then, we can work from there.”  
She exhaled. That was a lot. Her emotions were all over the place. She felt sympathy and pity and sadness but also anger and fear and nerves just because she was in the same room as him. But among all those negative emotions she felt it: a small sense of hope. 

She looked up at Fitz- into his eyes and for once she only saw him. He was visibly shaking. His left hand was trembling like crazy, his bottom lip was quivering and his eyes were full to bursting point with tears. But he didn’t let them go.  
“Thank you,” he whispered.  
Then his head was in his hands and Daisy could hear quiet sobs and see his shoulders shake. Relief ebbed from him. Daisy stood up and walked around the counter to his side. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him. He resisted at first but slowly he relaxed. She just- held him as he sobbed and tears started streaming down her cheeks too. Fitz didn’t deserve this. He wasn’t the man who had tortured her but he had his face. He was the same person...but not. He didn’t deserve this.

*

The day was uneventful, thank god. Daisy didn’t get to see much of Fitz. She spent most of her time in headquarters, trying to gauge Mack, Elena and Izel’s location. The fear that her friends were in such danger overwhelmed her and she almost forgot about the night before completely. At around nine in the evening she decided that was all she could do for a day. They had pinpointed an area north of their location and a scouting team had been sent out. She would follow tomorrow.

She was starving. Not only had she mostly forgotten about last night but she had mostly forgotten to eat. Deke had thrown a chocolate bar at her head and she decided to make the most of his idiocy and eat it. 

The kitchen was empty apart from Fitzsimmons who sat at the counter sharing a bowl of rice and giggling at each other. They didn’t notice Daisy come in at first but once she got closer Fitz looked up and saw her. His smile faltered slightly but his eyes were bright. The same was for Jemma.  
“Hey,” he said. “Anything new?”  
“We’ve sent a team and I’m going out tomorrow,” Daisy replied. “Might as well rest before.”  
“Good idea,” Jemma said. “There’s some left over stir fry if you want some. Fitz made it!”  
Daisy wrinkled her nose. Fitz’s cooking wasn’t the best to stay the least.   
“Try it at least!” Fitz said.   
“I think I’ll stick with this,” said Daisy selecting a box of cereal from one of the shelves.  
“That’s not very healthy.”  
“You two can talk,” Daisy replied. “Don’t think I don’t see you hoarding British snacks. Where do you even get them from?”  
“We have our sources.” Jemma smirked.

After eating Fitzsimmons decided to watch a film...well Jemma did. Fitz wanted to go and get more work done but Jemma insisted that he had done enough and he needed to rest. After a few minutes of yelling he admitted defeat.

They sat on the sofa, Jemma’s arm around Fitz as he cuddled in to her. Daisy stayed, vaguely keeping notice of the film. Her mind was a mess. Despite the hassle and the stress of today all that she could think about was her interaction with Fitz that morning. He hadn’t stopped crying for five minutes and even she had cried for a minute or so. It was as if they were overwhelmed with relief- and they were. Fitz was hyperventilating so much by the end of it that Daisy almost panicked for his safety. But she managed to calm him down and they had sat down together in a comfortable silence. They were used to comfortable silences between them. When Fitz was in the stages of recovery after his injury and especially after Jemma had left there had been many times where they were alone...in silence. He had preferred it that way and despite the lack of talking they had bonded so much. Now they could simply co-ordinate by their eyes. It wasn’t a full language but they could gauge each other’s emotions and feelings just by looking at each other. Despite the image of the doctor flashing in her head whenever she looked in to his eyes, Daisy looked over at Fitz. He looked back. He was tired. And afraid. Of what, she didn’t know. 

Soon he fell asleep, snoring gently in Jemma’s arms. Daisy smiled. Despite everything, she had missed him so much. She had missed her best friend. Grinning at Jemma she slowly took a blanket and put it over the pair of them.

On her way back to her quarters, May joined her.  
“He knows doesn’t he?” she said   
Daisy nodded.  
“How did he take it?”  
“Not too well,” Daisy replied. “But he’s happy with Jemma at the moment.”  
“When this is all over we’re all getting therapy,” May smiled slight. “We’re in need of it, I can’t ignore that fact any longer. But Fitz... he needs to leave.”  
“What do you mean?”  
Daisy was shocked for a second...and scared. Leave to where? Will he have a choice in this?  
“He needs time to recover and rest in peace without the stress of work. You know how he is, he takes everything on his shoulders. Some place in the country should suit him and Simmons just fine.”  
“Perthshire,” Daisy blurted out.  
“Where?”  
“It’s this lovely sounding place in Scotland. Jemma wouldn’t stop going on to me about it during our mission. She wants to settle there with Fitz as soon as possible.”  
“Well that’s perfect.”  
They had arrived at Daisy’s quarters.   
“Sleep well,” May said. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”  
She left.

Daisy stared after her. She knew that she had a lot going on behind her neutral exterior- anger and grief and longing. She was worse than Fitz. Daisy found it intriguing that she had actually managed to mention therapy. 

Finally, for a moment there was peace. But that wouldn’t be for long.


	3. Chapter 3

“You two need to leave.”

Daisy sat opposite Fitzsimmons on the same kitchen counter as the day before. It was silent apart from the clock ticking on the wall and the small ‘clink’ as Fitz dropped his spoon in to his cornflakes. They look on their faces were of shock- their mouths snapped in to little ‘O’s.

“What?” Fitz exclaimed. “But we’ve got to help-“

“Not right now,” Daisy rested her hand on his to reassure him. It was shaking as usual. “We need you. But once this is over. Once we get Mack and Yo-Yo back. Once Izel is gone. Once we sort out...whatever this Sarge thing is. We’re sending you to Perthshire.”

“How do you know about Perthshire-“ Fitz faltered off and turned to Jemma his expression indigent. “Did you tell her?”

“Of course I told her Fitz,” Jemma said. “And this sounds great.”

“We’ve already got a therapist,” Daisy continued. “How you work with her is your choice but you deserve to rest and you deserve to take care of yourself.”

Fitz’s shocked expression ebbed away and his eyes softened. He gave a small smile.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes,” Jemma and Daisy replied in unison.

“Thank you so much,” and his eyes filled with tears.

*

SOME TIME LATER.

*

“Are you going to bed?” Fitz said lazily in to the telecom.

Jemma could almost hear his smirk. 

“Yes, finally,” she replied.

“Do you remember those nights on base when we finally had finished a mission and could relax?” Fitz mused. “We would just lie in bed and watch TV and everything would be okay.”

Jemma could feel her eyes brimming with tears. He was in such a good mood tonight...well as good as it could get. Hope sprung out of every syllable he uttered; every word was selected with love. 

“Yes,” she muttered. “Yes I do.”

“I’d always fall asleep,” Fitz continued. “And you’d always wrap an extra blanket around me like I’d get cold.”

“I wanted to make sure you were comfortable.”

Fitz laughed.

“I was.”

They sat in comfortable silence for a second just as they had when they were in bed during those peaceful nights.

“When we see each other again we’re going to find a cottage,” he continued. “And we’re going to relax just like that again. Just like Daisy has planned for us to do.”

“Exactly how she had.”

“How is Daisy?” Curiosity rose in his voice.

“She’s okay,” Jemma replied. “She’s overwhelmed though. We all are. And none of us are sleeping well.”

“Yeah neither am I-“ Fitz’s voice faltered. It was as if he was going to say something more.

Jemma didn’t pry any further. She’d ask about it later. After all, he was in such a good mood.

“I love you,” he muttered softly.

“I love you too,” she whispered, trying to keep the tears out of her voice.

*

SOME TIME LATER

*

“Are you going to bed?”

“Yes, finally.”

“Did anything big happen today?”

“No...god Fitz I have no idea what we’re going to do.”

“Neither do I...”

Fitz sat in silence for a second. As usual that day Jemma had been constantly on his mind. He missed her face and the way she smiled gently and patiently at him or the way she grinned at him her eyes full of wonder and admiration. Memories constantly flashed through his mind... their first meeting, low-key chilled out days on the bus with Daisy...Daisy. 

She had been on his mind too today. They hadn’t really had time to talk ever since she had told Fitzsimmons that they had to leave. Everything had been such a rush. However he knew. He knew she still feared him. She had hardly made eye contact with him...it was rather noticeable.

Fitz didn’t blame her. He had hardly managed to make eye contact with himself either. Mirrors were a commonplace where he was but he avoided them like the plague. If he did look in the mirror he would not look directly in to his eyes. Those eyes were the same as the doctor’s. They may be full of emotion but they still were. Both him and Daisy feared himself.

Speaking of the doctor... he had also become commonplace in his mind. He was isolated most of the time and especially near the end of a day when fatigue and exhaustion kicked in, his guard was let down. He would have his conversation with Jemma and then just... sit there for an hour with a sinking, empty, nauseous feeling in his stomach as he pondered the emptiness of his life without her. Then, the doctor would come in and whisper in his ears- taunting and mocking his “cowardice” and “weaknesses” ...the usual crap. Soon his voice would become louder and Fitz would either have to sit it through, do his best to shut him up or sleep. Sleep helped mostly. 

Daisy seemed to be on the doctor’s mind as well. He obviously had a far different outlook on the situation claiming that she “deserved it” and constantly reminding Fitz that she hated him and that he was a danger to her. His voice seeped with glee whenever he mentioned Daisy. Fitz despised it.

“How are you?” Jemma asked.

“I’m okay.” Fitz replied

That was a lie. That was a blatant bloody lie. He couldn’t tell her about any of this though. She didn’t deserve to be burdened even more. The strain in her voice was evident. It was as if it was an effort to speak. He knew she was probably worrying too much about him...not only worrying if something bad would happen to him but also if he did something bad himself. Fitz wouldn’t blame her for it. Maybe if he died it would be less of a burden...maybe when his other self died Jemma would’ve been less burdened. No. Fitz shook his head violently. That was a ridiculous thing to think. 

“You are a burden though.”

Fitz shook his head even more violently. No he was not.

“Hey Fitz!” 

A cheery voice sounded from the other side of the comms. Daisy!

“Hi Daisy,” he responded. “How are you holding up?”

“Not bad at all,” her voice was excitable. “I just found the coolest thing.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a book from the library. The author is named Alec Fitz.”

“No way that’s so cool! What’s it about?”

“Oh I don’t know- some philosophical stuff I guess.”

Perhaps one good thing about the team travelling to the past was that they found amazing things like this. The thing was...Fitz wasn’t allowed to know when in the past they were. The name Alec didn’t ring a bell either. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

“How are you doing Fitz?” Daisy asked.

“I’m good.”

That wasn’t entirely a lie. Hearing Daisy’s cheery voice had sparked some hope in him.

“That’s good,” Daisy replied. “I really hope we can see you soon. I’ve missed you. We’re all missing you. It’s kind of boring without you.”

Fitz smirked. He felt a little warmer inside at the prospect that they missed him- they actually cared about him. And it was boring without him! Fitz never considered himself to be the most interesting and outgoing person but the compliment cheered him up nevertheless.

“Huh, is that really?” 

“Daisy!” Jemma’s muffled voice came through. “Mack needs you.”

“Oh okay talk to you later Fitz.”

“Bye.”

“I’ve only got a minute left,” Jemma’s quiet voice came through again. “How about you?”

“Yeah one minute as well,” Fitz replied.

They sat in silence for a second. Fitz could hear Jemma’s breathing- slow and gentle. He breathed in and out at the same time as her. Now he was calm.

“Well, I love you then.”

“Yeah, I love you too.”

The comms shut off. And Fitz was left again all on his own. That nauseous felling rose in his chest.


End file.
